This evening I sat around a dinner table with my dad, mom and both siblings for a meal as a family for the first time. My parents divorced when I was only a few months old, and there was sadly nothing conscious about their uncoupling. It was bitterly acrimonious at the best of times, and us kids made it our duty to keep them as far apart as we possibly could.
It’s was quite tricky growing up, as we unknowingly always denied a part of ourselves – when we were with my dad, we’d not mention much about life with my mom and visa versa – mostly to keep the peace.
Since those very angry days, we’ve been inviting them to the same family occasion but it would always be for a specific celebration – never just to be together as a family. And usually it would be the extended family and not just us.
This evening I invited my parents, brother, sister and their other halves (as I’ve known them both since I was only eight) to have a meal together – for no reason other than just being together as a family.
And it was fabulous – it was about us, not about our children and our lives as adults, but about reminiscing about our childhoods. We looked at old photos, talked about the things we all remembered and the most beautiful thing was that both my mom and dad just loved being with us.
Sometimes just taking a moment to look back and remember gives so much hope for the future. But most importantly, it is incredible to see how powerful a healer time really is.