Having been on a journey of self discovery for some time, but particularly these past few months, the concept of honouring yourself has regularly crossed my path. The same concept has also been the topic of many interesting conversations, and sometimes disagreements, between my husband and me.
The question always remains – when does honouring yourself become selfish behaviour – because it can be confused. My answer has always been that it is an energy thing – that honouring yourself comes from a place of doing what you know in your heart of hearts that is best for you, whereas narcissistic behaviour is driven by ego.
For someone like my husband who is not so much into the woo-hoo of energies and spirits, this is not necessarily a fulfilling answer and continues to be contentious – because in all fairness, sometimes honouring yourself does involve making decisions that can be perceived by others as selfish.
But I think I’ve finally got an answer. In the western world honouring yourself has potentially been twisted over time. We often hear terms like – put yourself first, only you are responsible for your own happiness, you deserve the best, if it’s not good for you it has to go. All of these are of course true, but when taken out of context, it can become the slogan for selfish behaviour.
Honouring yourself, I believe, is a much bigger concept than only putting yourself first when it comes to the good times. Yes, it means that sometimes you make a decision that favours yourself above others, and yes, that decision may seem selfish and probably won’t be understood by those affected.
But, and this is the big but, honouring yourself also means that you understand that everything that crosses your path is there for a reason, that it is your responsibility take ownership of your life and to face everything on your path head on – knowing that there is no running away from whatever is not so pleasant, as those instances and people are there for you to learn and grow from.
And then there is the beautiful understanding that we are here to learn from others in the same way that we are here to teach others – in equal proportions. So there is no need for anger or animosity – only opportunity to teach and learn.
Life is such a gift, and the people and experiences along the way are all perfect. My only wish is that I truly make the most of it by living the best life I know how to – learning and loving as unconditionally as I can.